


What I Would Give

by retribution



Series: Rei x Senpai (Samurai AU) [2]
Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Doctors & Physicians, Love Confessions, M/M, Requited Love, Samurai, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-16 21:46:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4641303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/retribution/pseuds/retribution
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You never know what a chance meeting might bring. Every second counts, when it comes to finding happiness, and so does every word, when it comes to finding love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What I Would Give

Kneeling on the tatami next to him, Rei watched in silence as Sera tipped out the last of the crushed herbs from the mortar into a folded piece of paper.  With precise movements, Sera folded the paper into a neat packet and deposited it into a box that had already been mostly filled with a row of identical medicine packets.  Placing a lid over the box, he set the finished product aside.  Only then did he glance up through his glasses at Rei.

“Remember when we used to do this together, Rei?”

Rei nodded.  “Of course.  How can I forget?  I remember the day you first showed me what to do, and I was so nervous, I nearly spilled all of a stomach remedy onto the floor instead of the paper.”

Those had been some of the most peaceful and productive years in his eventful life, training under the guidance of a doctor and his apprentice in Kyoto when he was sixteen.  The doctor had passed away soon after Rei resumed his journey, and Sera had taken up his master’s practice with the same humble kindness as ever.  Despite his youth, Sera’s skill and wisdom was soon famed throughout the capital, and anyone, from farmer to prince, counted themselves fortunate to have him attend to their needs.

But it was not for any mere illness that Rei sought out his former tutor.

“Sera-senpai… I will always treasure our memories together, but you must realize I’ve come to see you for more than just reminiscing.”

“I have noticed… but I am certain I would be of no use to you.”  Smiling fondly at Rei, Sera continued, “Something troubles your heart that you do not wish to share with the ones around you, is that correct?”

“Yes…”

“My perspective would be biased, however, and you know that.”  This close to each other, Sera reached over and took one of Rei’s hands, squeezing it gently before letting go.   “Whatever upsets you, Rei, I could do my best to advise you, but more than anything, I want you back in Kyoto, here with me.  You were a brilliant student, with a promising future.  I never understood why you gave it up to become a wandering samurai.”

“Because… I had a promise to keep that I could not break.”

“And you could only fulfill that promise as a samurai?” Sera asked.

“I believe so, Sera-senpai.”

“I see.  Did something occur as a result of that promise that you felt you could not deal with?”

“Something like that, I suppose,” Rei answered, smiling crookedly.

Rubbing his chin in thought, Sera then exhaled softly, seeming to have arrived at a conclusion.  “Then you must have fallen in love with someone who does not return your feelings.”

“What?!” Rei exclaimed in shock, not quite expecting that assessment.

“Only love could have kept you in Iwami and yet trouble your soul and confuse your mind.”  In response to Rei’s fervent denials, Sera laughed and shook his head.  “Rei, as you have answered our teacher’s most difficult questions in the past, you will prevail in love as well.  You, a self-taught eighteen year old samurai, helped lead a rebel army to almost bloodless victory against an experienced warlord, is this not true?”

Still blushing, Rei nodded in assent.

“Then I am confident you will figure out what to do.  Just be patient, stay your true self.  Observe the smallest details, take careful note of what you see and hear and experience, for even the tiniest flutter of a butterfly’s wings could be what ultimately sets off a typhoon.”

Struck by such wise words, Rei said, “Thank you, Sera-senpai!  Your advice and support, it means everything to me.  I will do my best…”  He trailed off uncertainly, fidgeted with his glasses.  “May I ask, how did you guess without me saying anything specific?  Have… you ever fallen in love before with someone who did not return your feelings?”

“…Yes.”

“I am sorry.”

“It’s fine.  We were separated before I could confess, and now… I believe they are going to be very happy with the one they love.  I am… content with that.”

“You should still let them know your feelings!” Rei exclaimed, dismayed to hear that his senpai had given up.  He never would have, why would Sera?   “I don’t know how anyone could not return your affections, Sera-senpai, you are perfect!  Forgive my rudeness, but I think you may have a chance.”

The sadness in his eyes disappeared temporarily as Sera laughed.  “You really don’t know this person, Rei.”

“Very well, you would know best, Sera-senpai.  But… what were you going to say to profess your love, if you could?”  Blushing, Rei added, “I would like to know, not that I would be copying your words or anything, I just never came across any in my readings… Ah, I’m sorry!  I didn’t intend to be nosy or weird…”

Any further rambling from Rei was cut off by Sera’s hands on his face, tilting his chin up.  His voice low and tender, Sera said, “It was you.  It had always been you.  My heart belonged to you from the day we met, and will stay yours until the day I die, no matter what happens.”  By now, Sera’s voice had roughened considerably, sounding raw, without the usual mild sweetness, and his fingers caressing Rei’s cheekbones paused.  “I would have been content to let you go, to never tell you how I feel, to keep on smiling when I see you next in the embrace of the one you love, who is not me.  But I am selfish, too.  I am foolish, too.”

“Sera-senpai…” Rei whispered, reaching up to grasp his wrist before he could pull away.  There, Rei could feel the rapid, erratic pulse under thin skin, almost sense the restraint of someone on the verge of breaking.  Looking up into Sera’s face, he could see the wetness of unshed tears in his eyes, which had grown dark with pupils dilated impossibly wide.  How had he never noticed before how Sera felt?  These must surely be the words Sera had wanted to say to him that day, before Rei told him that he would be leaving in the morning to continue his search.  There had never been anyone else for Sera, almost certainly, and now, Rei had just told him he had fallen in love with someone else?  How could he have been so blind and cruel to the one person who had always tried to teach him and protect him and care for him after his family had been murdered? 

What should he do?

“Rei…”  Sera tried to pull his hand back, but Rei impulsively turned and kissed the inside of his wrist, breathing in his scent of herbs and paper and tea and liniment, that he had woken up to every morning for months, the safest and most comfortable smell his body had known until the night he had reunited with Rin.

That seemed to have pushed Sera over the edge of his hesitation, and he leaned forward to kiss Rei, his lips pressing against his mouth, instead of his cheek, like he had done when they were younger.  Gasping into the kiss, Rei parted his lips, letting Sera further in, shivering in his arms from the rush of unexpected passion.  Guilt prickled at the back of his skull, where Sera’s long fingers cradled the nape of his neck, but Rei wondered if he had ever truly known love that was not Sera.  Was he merely infatuated with the glamor and glory and wealth of the samurai, the prestige of the class?  Did he only yearn for the wild mysterious danger he associated with Rin and Haruka and their comrades, and not the persons themselves?  Hadn’t he always felt a little out of place among them?

Sera had known him at his best and worst.  Clearly Sera still loved him.  Perhaps this was where he belonged instead…

Leaning back on his elbow, Rei knocked over that poor mortar again, and it rolled to the side, some distance away from where the two of them, utterly lost in the immediacy of each other’s presence, sought to make up for lost time.

Their robes untied, pooling on the tatami under them, Sera began distractedly placing kisses all over Rei’s body, hands smoothing across his too-hot skin, when he stopped and asked, “What happened here? This is definitely new.”

“Oh, I… was injured.  By the one I was trying to save.”

Frowning, Sera kissed the thin scar that ran across Rei’s palm.  “I would never hurt you.  Not unless you want me to.”

“I know.  But Sera-senpai… you can hurt me.  If you want to.  Because you know best how to heal me.”

“Are you sure?” Sera asked concernedly. 

Nodding, Rei replied, “Yes. Please.” 

“It will just be for a moment.  I will try to be gentle.”

“Thank you, Sera-senpai,” Rei sighed, as he felt Sera spread his legs further, hands stroking up and down his inner thighs that were trembling so violently from anticipation.  Yes, Rei thought, as Sera entered him, as his body welcomed him wholly and utterly and gladly, as if they were destined to come together like this…

_This is where I belong._

**Author's Note:**

> Sera/Rei, for the reixsenpai prompt butterfly effect, this time an alternate timeline to my samurai AU of Brilliance Everlasting, where after defeating the warlord with Rin, Rei then goes back to Kyoto to seek advice from Sera.


End file.
